Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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