wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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