no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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