So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
