I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
