Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
