There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize