thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
