i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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