meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
