both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize