I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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