it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
