So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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