i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
