just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
