I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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