what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
