I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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