Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
