May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
