So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
