you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
