Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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