Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
