Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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