You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
