just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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