ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
