He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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