five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
