OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
