I am in a vortex of obligation.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
