STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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