woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The air taste purple.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
