ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
did you just send me my own nude
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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