So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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