yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
