matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
