therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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