People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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