Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
