I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
