id be glad to
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
