Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
