Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
