I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
