I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize