Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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