the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
