tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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