Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
