Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
