She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
