sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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