don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
