Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
