How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This toilet bowl is my home.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
